Ask-Corinne-Torres

Strategies 4 success when resolutions don't stick

By the time you read this, you will have made and, quite possibly, already broken a New Year's resolution. It's a fact of life. 

We vow to get in shape, lose weight, quit smoking or reduce our dependence on plastic.  We undertake to earn more, spend less and pay down our debt. Mending relationships at home and at work, are also very high on everybody’s agenda too.  But invariably, we get sidetracked.

Why don’t these resolutions stick? 

That’s because they are based on wishful thinking, rather than commitment.  There is a gap between our intentions and our actions.  Often, not enough time was spent pondering exactly what you hope to achieve in the year ahead, how you plan to do it and where the resolutions fit into your overall picture.

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There is always an emotional base and unconscious drives to everything we do or don’t do.  It often helps to have a friend who's made the same resolution; so you support each other.  But your reasons for doing it might differ greatly.  To maintain your focus and motivation, here are a few questions to help you discover and harness your unique motivators.

1)   What kind of New Year’s Resolutions do you typically set?  Are your resolutions money, health, self-improvement, or relationship-orientated?

2)   Why do you set these particular resolutions?  

3)   Why are these resolutions important to you? 

4)   What do you hope to gain by achieving these resolutions?  

5)   If you are procrastinating, what is the downside of achieving your resolution? What is the upside of continuing to procrastinate?

6)   Do you believe you will be happier next year on December 31, 2010 if you are successful in achieving your resolutions?

7)   What will you do to be successful?

Strategies to succeed

To maximise your chances of keeping those promises, it is essential to construct a plan of action to focus on.  Here are some insights to develop practical strategies.

• Write down your goals and make sure they are about you. The desire has to come from within for you to succeed.   When the goals are down on paper in black and white you'll have something to refer to later.  It will be easier to adjust as you progress.
• Be realistic and be specific. Rather than; 'I want to lose weight', make it' 'I want to lose 15 kilos, at an average of 3.5 kilos per month, so I get down to my ideal weight of 70 kilos in 16 weeks.   Think long term and take easy small measurable steps.  If your goal is too big or unrealistic, you might be defeated before you get started.
• Work out the nuts and bolts of actually implementing your goals.  You may have to acquire the skills to achieve.  Consider self development courses or working in collaboration with someone else with the expertise you don’t have. 
• Good habits take time but set deadlines and a time framework to reach your goals. Don't try to do too much at once or you're more likely to fail on all counts.
• Part of the change process is setback.  Take a look at past actions.  You may not like what you see but you can learn from mistakes and setbacks. View them as lessons for growth and make adjustments as you go along.  Avoid perfectionist thinking and be overly critical of yourself and present situation.
• Keep a diary of your progress.  Keeping a record (weekly or daily depending on the resolution) of what you've done well and what you could improve on, makes it more likely you'll stick to your resolution.  Put a reward system in place when you reach a milestone or when you keep your focus after experiencing a setback.

New Year's resolutions can be both troublesome and rewarding. Many people make them, but few make a real commitment to them.   Your effectiveness lies in spending time developing goals which truly reflect who you are and in your reasons for choosing and committing to a structured path.

Has procrastination ever hurt you?

Procrastination is so ingrained in our lives, it has become a lifestyle.  We no longer pay our bills on time, we are always running late.  It cuts across so many areas of our lives; we don’t notice it anymore – until damage has been done.

Has procrastination ever hurt you?

There are many ways to avoid getting what you want in life, but the most sure-fire just might be procrastination.  How many times have you avoided your intended activities by doing just about anything - even 8 times at once?  Is the task too insignificant to be done at any point in time? Or have you convinced yourself that you work best under pressure?  Or perhaps you hold such exceptional standards that you refrain from doing?  Does any of that describe you? 

We are all guilty of avoidance from time to time.  But when days go by, weeks go by and you are no closer to achieving the goals you set yourself to accomplish, it is a sure sign that procrastination has set in. 

There are different nametags out there for procrastinators: the perfectionists, the daydreamers, the avoiders, the crammers and many more.  There are only two types of procrastinators in my book: people who fail to start and people who fail to finish.  In which category do you fit in?

Contrary to popular belief, procrastination is NOT a problem of time management or of planning or of motivation.  Procrastinators are in fact very good planners and exercise great care and discipline in applying stalling strategies or delaying tactics, when required.  Excessive deliberation, inability to make a decision, inertia, paralysis by analysis, procrastination has different characteristics and is all these things and more.  Procrastinators sabotage themselves, by putting obstacles in their own path. They actually choose paths that hurt their performance.  Imagine how much procrastinators would achieve if they were releasing the brakes? 

So, how do you overcome procrastination?  Is there a lasting solution? 

Applying positive thinking and willpower helps but you will go back to your old ways in no time.  Trying to ‘talk yourself into’ doing something that you don’t want to do, is one of the least effective ways of achieving your goal.  Just try it!

Procrastination comes about because our mental programming is hardwired in a dis-empowering way.  In effect, you become ‘paralysed’ by deep-seated limiting beliefs and habits which are subconsciously influencing your willingness to undertake or complete a specific task.  And we all have experienced it at some stage in our lives. 

At a conscious level, we all know what we want to do, or at least know what we ought to be doing. But there is somewhere deep inside us, like a little voice or a force with a mind of its own, that keeps us doing the same thing the same way. Regardless of our intentions, it often feels like we are going in two different directions at the same time. You know what you want or ought to be doing but you keep doing something else.  Does this sound familiar?

Procrastinators are made, not born.  That’s the good news.  In a nutshell, procrastination is a habit, which finds its origin in an unresolved emotion or experience.  Usually a fear but it can be unresolved anger or grief.  Procrastination can be played out as resentment or rebelliousness, and can progress easily from childhood to adulthood.

 

Procrastination hurts and the cost to oneself and others can be high emotionally as well as financially.  Procrastinating can weigh down heavily on your confidence and you may struggle with stress related symptoms such as insomnia, anxiety, irritability, gastrointestinal problems etc.  Procrastination can destroy relationships, at work and at home.  As you shift your responsibilities onto others, people around you can become resentful and lose confidence in you.

If procrastination is part of your life, then you are automatically settling yourself for less than what you could have or be.   Our coaching programs look into removing the barriers that keep you from doing the things you need to do in order to get the results you are looking for.  The techniques we use (NLP, Time Line Therapy and Hypnosis) are excellent for getting to the bottom of self limiting beliefs and then resolving them so that you are no longer controlled by your past habits.  Remember, your habits create your results!